Monday, November 16, 2009
i spent several hours with frozen peas strapped to my thighs last night. and today, i'm slathered with deep heat.
last night at bootcamp part 2, i excitedly began doing knee stops when something in each thigh snapped. i sat out for the entire drill chatting to two significantly injured freshies about the glory of pain.
i rejoined my group when they started doing T stops. but i felt weak and the pain in my legs was holding me back. i couldn't jump very high, and the two minute sprint nearly killed me. i sucked at weaving and skating on one leg was tough.
i went to sydney this weekend for a wedding. spent a couple of days there with favourite friends. pippa and my partner stayed home though and i missed them. i was pretty drained when i finally got home, but had to high tail it to bootcamp only two hours later. i was unfocussed, tired, sore and disheartened. i was torn. i wanted to be at home.
like slicer, i left bootcamp last week feeling excited. but this week, i sucked. my body failed me. i don't know what i expected really. i'm not fit, i'm not athletic. i still haven't fully recovered from my pregnancy and as a new mum, i don't get enough rest.
i'm left with a sense of failure and fear. roller skating has taken over my life, it's true. it's all i think about, talk about, read about, do. i'm worried that i want it too much. placing too much emphasis on it. it feels similar to having suffered a broken heart then being faced with the prospect of another relationship. what if it doesn't work out?
ok... so. what i will do is take a couple of days off from skating. look after my legs. do gentle stretches. smile through the pain. it's ok to have ups and downs. this is the roller girl journey.
i need to roll with it. i need to get down and derby.
xx darth ada xx